Save Face At All Cost!
One of the things that is taboo in many of the world's cultures, if not most, is the art of confrontation. I know that many of you are thinking right now....'well, nobody likes confrontation', and you are right that probably 99.9% of the people on the planet are not comfortable with confrontation. (We've all met a few souls that seem to thrive on it, but usually even they don't like to be on the receiving end) However, in American culture, even though most don't like to receive confrontation, there are many who don't hesitate to dish it out. In the rest of the world, this is usually looked on with great disdain, especially in African culture. The general rule here is that it is NEVER ok to embarass another with confrontational tactics, no matter how much it may indeed be deserved! If you ever watch an African family negotiate 'lebola' (the amount to be paid by the soon to be groom to the family of a daughter getting married), you would think that NOTHING was getting accomplished. Usually the girl's family names it's price, then the groom's family counter's with another offer, and so on. All of this is done at a big family gathering, and never face to face by the bride and groom with parents. Instead representatives are chosen to go back and forth as messengers, until an amount is agreed upon. Usually the side that 'wins' the negotiations is the side that is able to sit the longest :-)....and believe me they can sit for a long time!!! But, all of this system for negotiating lebola is built carefully around this priniciple of confrontation being taboo.
Most times, if you embarass an African through face to face confrontation, you have probably just made an enemy for life. He will never forget, nor forgive you for that, unless his heart is altered by the forgiving love of Christ. Biblically, we are commanded to confront certain issues at certain times, however, I think that many of us could review our spirit and approach to confrontation. Much can be learned by the patience and cautiousness used by Africans in their relationships in this regard. A Christian has the responsibility of learning how to balance cautiousness and confrontation in his sphere of relationships.
Showing posts with label Culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Culture. Show all posts
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
African Culture Commandment #1
You Can't Argue With the Clan!
While the majority of Americans are born and bred with an independent - look out for number one at all costs - spirit, the African culture produces a very different perspective on life. Almost every decision that an African makes, he is expected to first consider the wishes and needs of his clan and determine his choices based on the greater good. The reason for this is probably largely due to the fact that most Africans depend on others within their clan for survival. By 'clan', I mean all levels of extended family - to aunts, uncles, cousins, and sometimes beyond. It is most common to see one working African supporting many members of extended family. Due to a shortage of employment opportunities, and many other factors, the number of employed family members is usually very few - thus you are expected to support the rest. Therefore, any decision from further education, to employment considerations, to marriage and everything in between, requires consultation with all parties (involved or not) before one can do anything else.
While there are many selfless benefits to this kind of mental approach, it also produces many stumblingblocks, especially when it comes to following the claims of Christ on one's life. You can imagine the struggle for an African Christian, born and bred with this 'clan' mentality, when it comes to Christ's claims of discipleship in Luke 14:26.
While the majority of Americans are born and bred with an independent - look out for number one at all costs - spirit, the African culture produces a very different perspective on life. Almost every decision that an African makes, he is expected to first consider the wishes and needs of his clan and determine his choices based on the greater good. The reason for this is probably largely due to the fact that most Africans depend on others within their clan for survival. By 'clan', I mean all levels of extended family - to aunts, uncles, cousins, and sometimes beyond. It is most common to see one working African supporting many members of extended family. Due to a shortage of employment opportunities, and many other factors, the number of employed family members is usually very few - thus you are expected to support the rest. Therefore, any decision from further education, to employment considerations, to marriage and everything in between, requires consultation with all parties (involved or not) before one can do anything else.
While there are many selfless benefits to this kind of mental approach, it also produces many stumblingblocks, especially when it comes to following the claims of Christ on one's life. You can imagine the struggle for an African Christian, born and bred with this 'clan' mentality, when it comes to Christ's claims of discipleship in Luke 14:26.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Culture and Language
I do believe all missionaries should get together and write a book about all the funny stories we have regarding language differences and barriers. We have a ton - and we live in a country where English is a trade language!
Sunday, was one such occassion for me. At Motupa, we meet in a Primary school room. Each week, there are different posters and such highlighting what they are learning. This past week, my eye caught the one on homonyms - words that are pronounced the same, but have different meanings. Now, I am one of those poor, tormented souls that should've been an English professor. I was the weird one that always loved English in school - and thought that diagraming was fun. Proof-reading is painful for me. When my husband asks me to proof-read something, he always prefaces it (with a knowing smile) by saying, "Now, it doesn't have to be perfect - I DON'T want to rewrite the whole thing, okay?" So, when I read the poster hanging on the wall in the dusty, hot classroom, everything within me shouted, "ERROR! WRONG! CORRECTION!"
This was the list of homonymns for the class...
Live/Leave
Fit/Feet
Sit/Seat
Flower/Flour
Pane/Pain
And now I'm sure you see what I saw. HOWEVER.... Africans pronounce their "i" as a long "e". Now, go back and reread those first few words with a long "e". (And yes - it's killing me that I can't figure out on Blogger how to type and "e" with a line over it to indicate that it's a long "e". Pray for me - no - pray for my soon-to-be-homeschooled kids.)
It struck me as funny, yet it is a real reminder of the differences in culture. It's all in your perspective. That is exactly what culture shock is - feeling stupid and wondering why everyone else is being stupid. It's understanding others - as they try to understand strange Americans! It's something being wrong to us - and right to them (and the other way as well).
I share a hilarious story here that I've read from a missionary wife on the subject...
Smith's Ghost ~
When we translate we must be very careful to use the right idioms. Since idioms are (according to Webster) “The way of speaking and putting words together peculiar to a language”, we have to know the cultural meaning behind words and phrases before we use them. If we are not careful, we could be communicating something entirely different from our intended meaning. To illustrate this point, here is a true story of what happened to an African Christian who once came to the States to study.
The African student was assigned to stay with a Christian couple whom I’ll call “the Smiths.” All was going very well with this arrangement until one day when the student was left alone in the house. That morning the Smiths had decided to go out for a day in town, so they said goodbye to their African guest and left. He was studying very intently at the table when the phone range. Not wanting to let it go unanswered, he picked it up and said, “Hello?”
A voice on the other end said, “Hello? Is Mr. Smith there, please?”
“No, he just passed away,” (His incorrect translation for “he went away.”)
“Uh, really?” said the voice incredulously. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry. Is his wife
there?”
“No, she passed away with him.”
The voice faltered, “Um I’m sorry to hear that…and who are you?”
“I’m his ghost.” (He meant to say “guest”, but with his heavy accent the diphthong
came out just a little bit wrong.)
When the confusion was later explained to the African student, he was very embarrassed. Fortunately no damage was done, and the two gentlemen were able to laugh at the humorous memory. (At the Edge of the Village by Lisa Leidenfrost/Canon Press)
Sunday, was one such occassion for me. At Motupa, we meet in a Primary school room. Each week, there are different posters and such highlighting what they are learning. This past week, my eye caught the one on homonyms - words that are pronounced the same, but have different meanings. Now, I am one of those poor, tormented souls that should've been an English professor. I was the weird one that always loved English in school - and thought that diagraming was fun. Proof-reading is painful for me. When my husband asks me to proof-read something, he always prefaces it (with a knowing smile) by saying, "Now, it doesn't have to be perfect - I DON'T want to rewrite the whole thing, okay?" So, when I read the poster hanging on the wall in the dusty, hot classroom, everything within me shouted, "ERROR! WRONG! CORRECTION!"
This was the list of homonymns for the class...
Live/Leave
Fit/Feet
Sit/Seat
Flower/Flour
Pane/Pain
And now I'm sure you see what I saw. HOWEVER.... Africans pronounce their "i" as a long "e". Now, go back and reread those first few words with a long "e". (And yes - it's killing me that I can't figure out on Blogger how to type and "e" with a line over it to indicate that it's a long "e". Pray for me - no - pray for my soon-to-be-homeschooled kids.)
It struck me as funny, yet it is a real reminder of the differences in culture. It's all in your perspective. That is exactly what culture shock is - feeling stupid and wondering why everyone else is being stupid. It's understanding others - as they try to understand strange Americans! It's something being wrong to us - and right to them (and the other way as well).
I share a hilarious story here that I've read from a missionary wife on the subject...
Smith's Ghost ~
When we translate we must be very careful to use the right idioms. Since idioms are (according to Webster) “The way of speaking and putting words together peculiar to a language”, we have to know the cultural meaning behind words and phrases before we use them. If we are not careful, we could be communicating something entirely different from our intended meaning. To illustrate this point, here is a true story of what happened to an African Christian who once came to the States to study.
The African student was assigned to stay with a Christian couple whom I’ll call “the Smiths.” All was going very well with this arrangement until one day when the student was left alone in the house. That morning the Smiths had decided to go out for a day in town, so they said goodbye to their African guest and left. He was studying very intently at the table when the phone range. Not wanting to let it go unanswered, he picked it up and said, “Hello?”
A voice on the other end said, “Hello? Is Mr. Smith there, please?”
“No, he just passed away,” (His incorrect translation for “he went away.”)
“Uh, really?” said the voice incredulously. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry. Is his wife
there?”
“No, she passed away with him.”
The voice faltered, “Um I’m sorry to hear that…and who are you?”
“I’m his ghost.” (He meant to say “guest”, but with his heavy accent the diphthong
came out just a little bit wrong.)
When the confusion was later explained to the African student, he was very embarrassed. Fortunately no damage was done, and the two gentlemen were able to laugh at the humorous memory. (At the Edge of the Village by Lisa Leidenfrost/Canon Press)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
As I was talking with a mutual friend today, the copier repair man, yes I see him a lot (lol), I was reminded of a subject that I have been giving a lot of consideration to lately. The struggle to communicate across cultures. There have been scores of books written on the subject, concerning the land mines, helpful pointers, and even explanations about how other cultures think (i.e., other culture's worldviews). I have read several of these books, however, I have never understood the challenges of communicating in another culture, as much as I now do, having lived in another culture for almost 3 years. Don't take that to mean, by any stretch, that I have figured out how to handle it, quite the opposite. I guess more than anything, I have learned that I have much more to learn. Somedays I wonder if I will ever really figure this culture(s) out.
You see the country that we now consider to be our home is a mix of cultures that we are confronted with everyday. Each of them are unique and special, and each of them offer great challenges to understand. Some of these cultures are first world, some of them are third world, and some are somewhere in-between! How hard is it to tell the mechanic what is wrong with your car? Well it took mine several minutes before he figured out I was talking about the central locks and not the headlights????? How difficult should it be to transfer money between bank accounts? It seemed fairly easy, until I did what the banker told me to do, then I discovered that they really couldn't do it that way after all. So, now transfer the money to another business who will send the money to another institution, who will HOPEFULLY make the transfer for me :-0. Now, the worst part is that these 2 examples are dealing with white folks in this culture who think and live in a half-similar manner to ourselves.
NOW, imagine trying to deal with the majority culture here of African folks, whom we love so dearly, yet so often fain to understand and vice-versa. For example, one guy (african) gives me his resume to type up so he can find a job. But, I notice that he has given me 2 different copies. One has more qualifications listed than the other. I interpret that to mean, one is older than the other. Let me combine the information on the 2 and make 1 perfect resume. When I give him the copy back, he asks....'why did you only give me 1, I gave you 2 different ones to type?' I explained my reasoning to him. He replied, 'well the one with fewer qualifications is for applying for general labor positions, the one with more qualifications is for applying for a higher job position'. In other words, if I find a job for cheap labor, and I give them a resume with too many qualifications, then they won't hire me because I'm overqualified? Ok....my head is still spinning from that 'logic'. But, that's just the problem, that was perfectly 'logical' in his mind....that's fine, but my mind doesn't process information that way!
The paradigm shift in worldview thinking is absolutely critical on our part if we are going to be effective in reaching these souls with the Gospel. If you don't understand how a person thinks, it is very difficult, perhaps impossible, to give them understanding of spiritual truths. However, most of us have never thought about how we think (i.e., our worldview). We just assume that everybody thinks like us, or at least they ought to if they don't :-). Until we first define our own worldview, we will never be able to gain insight into how other cultures think (i.e., their worldview). In some further posts, I would like to try and paint a picture for you of a typical american worldview and then a typical african worldview.
You see the country that we now consider to be our home is a mix of cultures that we are confronted with everyday. Each of them are unique and special, and each of them offer great challenges to understand. Some of these cultures are first world, some of them are third world, and some are somewhere in-between! How hard is it to tell the mechanic what is wrong with your car? Well it took mine several minutes before he figured out I was talking about the central locks and not the headlights????? How difficult should it be to transfer money between bank accounts? It seemed fairly easy, until I did what the banker told me to do, then I discovered that they really couldn't do it that way after all. So, now transfer the money to another business who will send the money to another institution, who will HOPEFULLY make the transfer for me :-0. Now, the worst part is that these 2 examples are dealing with white folks in this culture who think and live in a half-similar manner to ourselves.
NOW, imagine trying to deal with the majority culture here of African folks, whom we love so dearly, yet so often fain to understand and vice-versa. For example, one guy (african) gives me his resume to type up so he can find a job. But, I notice that he has given me 2 different copies. One has more qualifications listed than the other. I interpret that to mean, one is older than the other. Let me combine the information on the 2 and make 1 perfect resume. When I give him the copy back, he asks....'why did you only give me 1, I gave you 2 different ones to type?' I explained my reasoning to him. He replied, 'well the one with fewer qualifications is for applying for general labor positions, the one with more qualifications is for applying for a higher job position'. In other words, if I find a job for cheap labor, and I give them a resume with too many qualifications, then they won't hire me because I'm overqualified? Ok....my head is still spinning from that 'logic'. But, that's just the problem, that was perfectly 'logical' in his mind....that's fine, but my mind doesn't process information that way!
The paradigm shift in worldview thinking is absolutely critical on our part if we are going to be effective in reaching these souls with the Gospel. If you don't understand how a person thinks, it is very difficult, perhaps impossible, to give them understanding of spiritual truths. However, most of us have never thought about how we think (i.e., our worldview). We just assume that everybody thinks like us, or at least they ought to if they don't :-). Until we first define our own worldview, we will never be able to gain insight into how other cultures think (i.e., their worldview). In some further posts, I would like to try and paint a picture for you of a typical american worldview and then a typical african worldview.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Culture…Familiar Places in South Africa
One of the most amusing things when visiting a foreign country has to be seeing American signs and products. Maybe it seems crazy to you, but we enjoy the McDonald’s in Pietersburg. There isn’t one in Tzaneen yet. We are told the story by the locals that McDonald’s HAD tried to come several years ago, but the bistro/produce market just outside of town by the similar name of MacDonald’s, filed a lawsuit with the American franchise. Apparently now, the dust has settled and McDonald’s has been given permission to open in our small town. Funny.
When you walk into McDonald’s here, it is identical to any you’d find in the States. The food, the packaging, the signs, the smells (which aren’t always good) – everything – is identical except the prices are in Rands (R) on the menu board! But honestly, I think it’s more the ‘American’ familiarity than it is the food… :o)
There are several other familiar places, businesses, and products around the country. Here are some ‘we’ have seen this term. In more westernized parts of the country, like Cape Town and Johannesburg, there are even more ‘familiar signs’, I am sure.
Avis Car Rentals
Hertz Car Rentals
KFC
McDonalds
Cinnabon (Pretoria)
Seattle’s Best Coffee (Pretoria)
ReMax Real Estate
Subway (Pretoria)
You will see brands such as:
Coke, Sprite, Fanta
Tab
Lipton Iced Tea
Oreos
Doritoes
Lays
Ziploc
Kellogs
Colgate/Palmolive
Dove
Pantene
Old El Paso Flour Tortillas
Hershey’s Syrup
Levi’s
Nike
However most times these are imported from USA, Canada, UK, or New Zealand and are the priciest options!!
We still have not forgiven the Castners and Heinzes who can get TURKEY HILL ICE CREAM in Chile. That is just plain not fair! :o)
Although these things seem small and insignificant, when you are in a strange land and culture, these are welcomed sights! Hopefully this was a ‘different’ perspective on our reality.
When you walk into McDonald’s here, it is identical to any you’d find in the States. The food, the packaging, the signs, the smells (which aren’t always good) – everything – is identical except the prices are in Rands (R) on the menu board! But honestly, I think it’s more the ‘American’ familiarity than it is the food… :o)
There are several other familiar places, businesses, and products around the country. Here are some ‘we’ have seen this term. In more westernized parts of the country, like Cape Town and Johannesburg, there are even more ‘familiar signs’, I am sure.
Avis Car Rentals
Hertz Car Rentals
KFC
McDonalds
Cinnabon (Pretoria)
Seattle’s Best Coffee (Pretoria)
ReMax Real Estate
Subway (Pretoria)
You will see brands such as:
Coke, Sprite, Fanta
Tab
Lipton Iced Tea
Oreos
Doritoes
Lays
Ziploc
Kellogs
Colgate/Palmolive
Dove
Pantene
Old El Paso Flour Tortillas
Hershey’s Syrup
Levi’s
Nike
However most times these are imported from USA, Canada, UK, or New Zealand and are the priciest options!!
We still have not forgiven the Castners and Heinzes who can get TURKEY HILL ICE CREAM in Chile. That is just plain not fair! :o)
Although these things seem small and insignificant, when you are in a strange land and culture, these are welcomed sights! Hopefully this was a ‘different’ perspective on our reality.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Culture...and Weather
Hello! Good Saturday afternoon to you all. Yes Abbi, it’s really me. :o)
South African weather – it’s hard to predict, except in the summer time. You can always count on it to be hot – no matter what!
This is a fitting topic for the next in the Culture articles (previously posted at www.mamaruti.blogspot.com ). Yesterday was hot. Already?! Summer comes about a month earlier to Tzaneen than it does most other places in South Africa. It was over 85 ‘in the shade’ with humidity. This morning, we woke up to find a welcomed cloudy, dreary day and only 65 degrees. What a difference from yesterday!
We are in the southern hemisphere, not far south from the Tropic of Capricorn. Our seasons are opposite of yours. We are currently coming out of our winter – or whatever you call it when it doesn’t get any cooler than 40 at night and 50’s during the day (and that’s on a COLD day). Usually for our area, the winter, dry season is from June-August. Our summer, rainy season is from September-May.
There is no Spring or Fall as we know it in the USA. However in the mountains that run between where we live and where the Wilhites live, one can have the blessing of seeing the leaves on a few trees change to familiar hues of red and orange as cooler weather comes in June. Imagine for a moment, what it’d be like without Spring and Fall! We missionaries over here tend to miss those seasons we’ve been accustomed to most of our lives.
Summer is quite oppressive here in the subtropical paradise, as they call it, of Tzaneen. Because of the greenhouse effect, so to speak of being surrounded by majestic mountain ranges, we have a hot, humid, subtropical climate. Even just over the mountains and through the jungle to the Wilhites’ (and hour west of us through the mountain pass) will almost always bring a drier, cooler climate. Oftentimes we will leave Tzaneen sweltering and wish we’d brought our jackets when we arrive in Pietersburg! We find it humorous that when reporting the temperatures in South Africa, two temps are always given; the temperature in the shade and the temperature in the sun. When it says 100 degrees in the shade, there really is no point in knowing what it is in the sun. Who cares at that point, right?! That is what it takes for such beautiful scenery and vegetation. Ask anyone who has visited. We love the beauty that surrounds us here. I will be sharing pictures of Tzaneen in the future.
Winter is always a welcomed break from the heat, at least to us. However many die during this time of year because of such primitive living conditions for many. The coldest we have ever seen the thermometer read was 39 degrees, one time. What makes it seem so cold in the evenings and mornings is that the houses have no central heating as we Americans know it. Most houses have complete ceramic tile floors and brick walls (or worse), so the house gets quite chilly! A few space heaters here and there help alot!
Having opposite seasons is different indeed! That means that we’re enjoying a braai (African BBQ), the best watermelon, and sweating our brains out on Christmas Day. It also means that the only time anyone feels like roasting a turkey is for the 4th of July! :o) Think about that for a moment! When you are grocery shopping around Christmas time, and it’s 100 degrees out – in the shade – and you hear Bing Crosby singing, “White Christmas”; you just want to fall on the floor laughing hysterically. Most people here cannot even fathom what snow must be like. They laugh when we explain that Christmas to us, is cold and white. :o)
It’s all in your perspective!!
Have a blessed Lord's Day tomorrow...we are praying for services LVBC!
South African weather – it’s hard to predict, except in the summer time. You can always count on it to be hot – no matter what!
This is a fitting topic for the next in the Culture articles (previously posted at www.mamaruti.blogspot.com ). Yesterday was hot. Already?! Summer comes about a month earlier to Tzaneen than it does most other places in South Africa. It was over 85 ‘in the shade’ with humidity. This morning, we woke up to find a welcomed cloudy, dreary day and only 65 degrees. What a difference from yesterday!
We are in the southern hemisphere, not far south from the Tropic of Capricorn. Our seasons are opposite of yours. We are currently coming out of our winter – or whatever you call it when it doesn’t get any cooler than 40 at night and 50’s during the day (and that’s on a COLD day). Usually for our area, the winter, dry season is from June-August. Our summer, rainy season is from September-May.
There is no Spring or Fall as we know it in the USA. However in the mountains that run between where we live and where the Wilhites live, one can have the blessing of seeing the leaves on a few trees change to familiar hues of red and orange as cooler weather comes in June. Imagine for a moment, what it’d be like without Spring and Fall! We missionaries over here tend to miss those seasons we’ve been accustomed to most of our lives.
Summer is quite oppressive here in the subtropical paradise, as they call it, of Tzaneen. Because of the greenhouse effect, so to speak of being surrounded by majestic mountain ranges, we have a hot, humid, subtropical climate. Even just over the mountains and through the jungle to the Wilhites’ (and hour west of us through the mountain pass) will almost always bring a drier, cooler climate. Oftentimes we will leave Tzaneen sweltering and wish we’d brought our jackets when we arrive in Pietersburg! We find it humorous that when reporting the temperatures in South Africa, two temps are always given; the temperature in the shade and the temperature in the sun. When it says 100 degrees in the shade, there really is no point in knowing what it is in the sun. Who cares at that point, right?! That is what it takes for such beautiful scenery and vegetation. Ask anyone who has visited. We love the beauty that surrounds us here. I will be sharing pictures of Tzaneen in the future.
Winter is always a welcomed break from the heat, at least to us. However many die during this time of year because of such primitive living conditions for many. The coldest we have ever seen the thermometer read was 39 degrees, one time. What makes it seem so cold in the evenings and mornings is that the houses have no central heating as we Americans know it. Most houses have complete ceramic tile floors and brick walls (or worse), so the house gets quite chilly! A few space heaters here and there help alot!
Having opposite seasons is different indeed! That means that we’re enjoying a braai (African BBQ), the best watermelon, and sweating our brains out on Christmas Day. It also means that the only time anyone feels like roasting a turkey is for the 4th of July! :o) Think about that for a moment! When you are grocery shopping around Christmas time, and it’s 100 degrees out – in the shade – and you hear Bing Crosby singing, “White Christmas”; you just want to fall on the floor laughing hysterically. Most people here cannot even fathom what snow must be like. They laugh when we explain that Christmas to us, is cold and white. :o)
It’s all in your perspective!!
Have a blessed Lord's Day tomorrow...we are praying for services LVBC!
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